A Little Humor
“When the meek inherit the earth, lawyers will be there to work out the deal.” Sam Ewing (1920 – 2001) U.S. author
"Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice." Franklin P. Jones
Q: What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
A: Senator.
Q: What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 70?
A: Your honor.
Q: What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
A: His partners.
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: The lawyer gets frequent flyer
miles.
Q: If you have a bad lawyer, why not get a new one?
A: Changing lawyers is like moving
to a different deck chair on the Titanic.
Q: How does an attorney sleep?
A: First he lies on one side and
then on the other.
Q: How do you get a group of lawyers to smile for a photo?
A: Just say, "Fees!"
Two Kinds of Lawyers
There are two kinds of lawyers: those who know the law and those who know the
judge.
Bad Reputation
Isn't it a shame how 99% of the lawyers give the whole profession a bad name.
Lawyer: "Judge, I wish to appeal my client's case on the
basis of newly discovered evidence."
Judge: "And what is the nature of the new evidence?"
Lawyer: "Judge, I discovered that my client still has $500 left."
Question: What's the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a dead lawyer?
Answer: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
A blind snake meets a blind rabbit. To figure out what kind of creature it has come across, the snake coils itself around the rabbit. "You're warm and fluffy, you have long ears, strong hind legs and a cold, twitching nose. You must be a bunny rabbit!"
"Right," says the rabbit. "Now let me try to feel what you are." The rabbit cuddles up next to the snake. "You're cold, you're slimy, and you have a forked tongue," the rabbit says. "You must be a lawyer!"
